blog cinco

This reading was exceptionally hard to finish last night. In high school, I loved the book 1984 by George Orwell. And Animal Farm too. But I have never read such a bland and boring explanation of the book. Mark Mason's essay really failed when it came to holding my attention. It got better towards the end, reading his final draft. He added that whole paragraph on top, leading into his essay. He switched some of his ideas around, which in turn made the paper more interesting than his original draft. Let's face it, no one wants to read an essay that begins with "In high school one of the books we read" or whatever it was he was puking all over the page. Anything to that effect is especially dull and in my opinion automatically turns readers off and away from the paper. It's foreshadowing in a caveman form, opening with that sentence. You can see the paper sucking from miles away. Once he added that fantastic opening paragraph though, he still left the same title. I guess there are some good ideas behind the title, but if it had a flavor it would taste like one of those wafers they give you during communion at church. Kinda like cardboard. And hard to chew through. In my opinion his first couple drafts had some problems flowing and having the ideas all run together seamlessly. I am guilty of this. Sometimes when I write my ideas start pumping then I leave a few out but sometimes they can be the ones that connect two really important or strong ones. Its like your wrist missing sinews. Mason definitely cleaned up his final draft and pulled everything together. He also fixed alot of the grammatical errors he was obviously having problems with as well as expanding his vocabulary. I guess I managed to pull something out of this article, and that would be that it's quite alright to have the worst first draft in history, as long as you make ends meet and keep building on top of your original ideas when you wrap up the final outcome.