Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Blog Post 5

I thought that Mark Mason's "Adaptations, Limitations, and Imitations," were pretty helpful in understanding the usefulness of revisions. When I read his first draft I initially thought that his essay was pretty decent. He made a strong point in the first paragraph and then followed through with his ideas and so on.
When I read the second draft; it looked as though he hadn't changed much. Well he did change a sentence in the first paragraph; which kind of helped, but I don't think it made any significant difference. He did this with a couple more sentences in his second paragraph. These I think make a little bit more of a difference but he still isn't changing much in his second draft from his first draft. As with the second paragraph the following paragraphs don't take on much change either.
Now we get into the real spin that his essay takes. In his third draft there is much change that completely focuses his views. He adds a beautiful first liner to his introduction that could suck a reader in like a category 5 tornado! The differences from his first paragraph stand out very much. He completely changed his whole thought process on his first paragraph but it still had the same idea as his first draft. I thought that his second draft intro was ten times better than his first draft intro. It doesn't just stop with the first paragraph. He goes on to break up his bulky second paragraph in his first two drafts and makes them into more thoughtful and precise mini paragraphs. I think this was way more effective to understand the points he is trying to get across.
One think that Mark Mason left the same throughout his drafts is the title. I think this title is a bit dry for how great his opening paragraph is. I probably wouldn't read it if I had just read the Title. I mean it does reflect what his essay is about but it isn't appealing at all.
His draft revisions made his paper awesome and I think that revision has helped me make papers that I have written a lot better. I don't think I have ever stuck with what I had originally written because in my English classes I have always had to make drafts. I do like to revise my papers but I don't like to have them revised by other students unless I want a student to revise my paper. I don't want someone telling me my paper needs work when they probably have a paper that needs work too. I guess for this class I will just have to take it. I think that this is the hardest part about revising my papers; being unsure about my essay when someone who isn't a college professor reads my paper and suggests that I change it. I don't want to be wrong unless I know for sure the other person is right.

1 comment:

chelsey said...

Response to Spencer:
I agree about the title of the paper. I dont think i would ever pick up a paper with a title like that and want to read it, uless i was forced to. Sorry though Spencer but i must disagree with you on the part about other students revising my papers. It helps me so much and i truly appreciate other's opinions, critism, and comments on how to improve my paper. Everyone tkaes things differently, so when i have a few different people comment or workshop my paper, it helps me make my paper better. It allows me to cover more material that i know other readers wil actually enjoy to read throuhout my paper. With out other's revisions, i would only go along with my thought and opiinion, and my paper would probably be only interesting to me or my best friend, thats it.