I believe that the revisions Mark Mason made in his “Adaptations, limitations and Imitations” were very successful in making a better essay. Each draft he seemed to understand a lot more about the symbolism and irony the producers of the films “Brazil” and “V for Vendetta” had used when changing the books into movies. He gets rid of irrelevant information and instead includes valid connotations between the original texts and the movie and graphic novel that were to follow. I think that the title does fit the story. It explains exactly what he is doing to his essay at each step. He adapts and changes it to make room for new thoughts and rid of extra, unneeded babble! He also limits the amount of reasons and explanations needed to portray his view point. And finally he imitates the comparisons between both texts and their counterparts. I really liked the prologue he added to the beginning of it in his final draft. It set the scene and introduced the reader to what he would go on to write about. It started out very casual and informal, as if he was talking to his reader face to face. It also allows the reader to get to know a little bit more about Mason, what he values, what he likes, what he doesn’t! This shapes how we read the rest of the essay. From the start we can either relate to the way he feels about graphic novels and movies or completely disagree with him. Either way, we already have our own opinions in mind before we start reading the main content of this passage.
I always read and re-read essays once I have written them and edit parts that I feel need changing, whether it be taking sentences out, re-ordering them or explaining certain points to a fuller extent. I think it’s a lot easier to know what you want to write in your paper once you have your first or even second draft finished. Once you have your main arguments it is a lot easier to go back and change your essay to make it work around those points. I find it relatively easy to cut things out of my paper, unless of course, I need those extra few words here and there to make up for the needed amount of pages!
2 comments:
i agree that he does sound conversational at first but then he seems to become more serious as the paper progresses. i did like how he added more details in his comparisons of V for Vendetta and Brazil. I also liked how he gave that intro about his previous views and how it contrasts to what he is stating in this paper because it shows how this experience has changed him on a personal level. this really helps you connect to him reader to author. i think is interesting that you find it easy to delete things from your paper because i cant bring myself to do it when the need arises.
wow, so i totally agree and can relate to everything you said!
I thought about how the title relates to how he came to his final draft, too. I didn't write about it in that way but I'm glad to see I am not the only one who thought of it that way!
Also, reading your analysis of his new introductory paragraph made me realize that he really was putting out there his values and likes and dislikes! I didn't really notice that until you said something but yeah he really makes clear of how he views books and other things. great job!
Oh, about the extra words for pages... I am so guilty of doing that. I like to call it "fluff". I like to add a little fluff here a little there and voila! a six page paper! Ha ha ha! Yeah, good times.
hope you're having a good day! Later!
rach
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